Hey. Yeah, so, it’s been a while. Over a month actually. I just wanted to say that I’m still alive lol
The last 6 weeks have been hard to say the least. Is this going to be a vent post because I somehow feel like the internet cares about why i’ve been absent? Maybe. But what’s happened over the last few weeks is interesting. They say that the truth is better than fiction….. i’m not sure about that (you bookworms can agree!) but I could probably write a book about the last month or so and you would never believe it!
First, my husband and I own two businesses. They both peaked at the same time and it was insanity on a daily basis. It was so busy that we could have used about 6 employees and we still would have been rushing – but it was just us two and I don’t know how we managed it! It’s still super busy but slow enough that we aren’t running like chickens with our heads cut off…. as often lol.
In the midst of all that, we had an attempted break in. Someone tried to break into our house less than a year ago so I knew what the sound was. It was about 1:35am when I heard a noise. I thought I was imagining things so I sat in silence for a second to see if I could hear it again. Of course I did. The sound of someone throwing all their weight against your front door is a sound that you don’t soon forget. The last time this happened I made sure that I got a metal baseball bat “just in case”. I heard the sound again and ran to grab it. When I came around the corner he hit the door again and I saw the metal plate that holds the deadbolt let loose. I yelled for him to get out but he didn’t hear me and hit the door again. This time there were shards of the wood frame that flew off the door. I knew that he was one slam away from getting in so I had to do something. I wielded that bat like an angry mama bear and lost my shit entirely!! He heard me that time and turned to run away. It’s a good thing he damaged the door so badly that I couldn’t get it open immediately. You have to remember – I’m only 5 feet tall – and i’m dangerously fearless which will get me into trouble one of these days. He got on his bike and I finally got the door open and chased him away with my bat. Yup – stupidly fearless. It could have gone very wrong.
I thought I was ok. I felt strong and powerful. An intruder tried to get into my house and I chased him away with a metal baseball bat. Sounds bad ass, right? Well – what ended up happening was PTSD that kept me awake all night long and an intense fear at the smallest of sounds. We put in a new door, upgraded our alarm system, installed more camera’s, and these crazy deadbolts all along the door. Once those were in place (literally thousands of dollars later *cry*) I started to sleep better. Good thing I had books to keep me company all night long!
On top of all that – there’s the pain. I was assessed by my doctor and have been accepted into the Ehlers’s Danlos Clinic in Toronto. I don’t have a diagnosis yet but I feel like this is a step in the right direction. My daily pain is so intense I cry daily. I wish I was kidding. Just walking from my living room to the kitchen is so painful I want to scream. My fingers dislocate multiple times a day. And my stomach is so bloated I look 9 months pregnant, causing pain and nausea along with it. I haven’t had an appetite in months. The wait list for this clinic is 12-18 months……. I’ll wait as long as I need to for answers and hopefully treatment!
That’s a lot of negatives, I know. Things haven’t been easy. But here’s a positive – I’m an aunt!!!!!! My husbands brother and his wife had their first child in February! But the best part about the day he was born is that it’s also my moms birthday! So two of the most amazing people in my life were born on the same day!!!! I haven’t met the little man yet though. They live in Toronto where Covid is a little more of a problem so they’re keeping him away from everyone just to be safe. I feel so sad that we’re missing out on his first few weeks but I would rather miss them to keep him safe. We will meet him soon enough!
So that’s it! That’s where I’ve been. Here at home, dealing with exhaustion, pain, PTSD, anxiety and depression while drowning myself in books, animal crossing, true crime documentaries, and cross stitching……. I sound like an 80 year old grandmother lol!
Now that i’m back you’re going to be getting a lot of reviews coming your way – i’ve got a lot of reading to catch you up on. I even hope to put up some new videos…. but I’m not going to push myself. I’m still insanely busy with work and still dealing with pain and anxiety. But I feel like I’m strong enough to make an attempt to come back to the bookish community that I missed so much!
I hope you’re all doing well and I missed you all SO much!!!
Until next time, happy reading!