ALL YOUR PERFECTS
Written by Colleen Hoover
Published by Atria Books, July 17, 2018
My star rating: 3 stars
Quinn and Graham’s perfect love is threatened by their imperfect marriage. The memories, mistakes, and secrets that they have built up over the years are now tearing them apart. The one thing that could save them might also be the very thing that pushes their marriage beyond the point of repair.
All Your Perfects is a profound novel about a damaged couple whose potential future hinges on promises made in the past. This is a heartbreaking page-turner that asks: Can a resounding love with a perfect beginning survive a lifetime between two imperfect people? FIND IT ON GOODREADS
This is only the second Colleen Hoover book I’ve read. I’ve been hearing so many positive things about her books and how she tackles hard topics. The first book of hers that I read was Confess, and I really enjoyed her writing style. There were certain elements of the book that I didn’t like, but, as a whole, it was an enjoyable experience. So I decided to give her another shot with this one. My experience was very conflicting to say the least.
First, I’ll start with the positives. I actually enjoyed her writing so much more with this one. I thought the characters were really well written, were easy to attach to emotionally, and felt so complete. I felt like I knew a lot about them as if they were people I actually knew in real life.
I also really loved how the book was formatted. We went back and forth between Quinn and Graham in the past, and them now. It was so amazing to see what brought them together, how they were many years ago, and the things that brought them to be who they were today. That was SO easy for me to relate to. My husband and I have been together for 20 years. The people that we were when we got together are so far removed from who we are today. The things we face in life together change us if we want to or not. Sometimes it’s better, and sometimes it’s worse. But ultimately, these things make us who we are today. I loved seeing the changes in them and how it morphed their relationship.
Another thing that I related to was infertility. Quinn and Graham wanted nothing more to be parents. Loving each other as much as they did, they wanted to have children and move into that next phase of their marriage. Everyone around them were having children, and here they were, wanting it more than anything, and they couldn’t conceive. After many years of trying naturally, they moved to extreme measures, and even that didn’t give them a child. The stress and frustration of trying month after month and failing can do awful things to your mind. Though me and my husband didn’t have to try IVF or any other of those measures, we did try for over two years to have our second child. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, so having kids wasn’t as easy as it is for others. Each month was another failure, and it was so easy to spiral down a dark hole of depression.
Now, having said that last part about personally experiencing infertility, there comes my rant. This is honestly what made me not like the book – Quinn was an asshole. This is just my opinion so please don’t hate me if you liked her. But seriously, I hated everything about her in the “now” portion of the book. She was self absorbed, selfish, and refused to communicate. No, Graham wasn’t a perfect angel, but in this case, he was the only one willing to keep their marriage together. I get it. She was dealing with the infertility being her problem, she couldn’t give them the one thing they wanted more in the world, and it was crushing. I get it! But she took it to an extreme that was toxic to both of them. And the worst part was – she knew what she was doing!!! She refused to communicate with her husband. I know she did it to “shelter” her husband from her overpowering emotions, but she cut herself off in every way. Emotionally, physically – everything. She made it seem like he was unloved, uncared for, and at fault. She also said at one point that he didn’t know what she was going through…… excuse my language but, are you fucking kidding me?? HE doesn’t know? Isn’t he without a child just as much as you are?? I know that she was the reason that they couldn’t get pregnant, so maybe she felt it more than him, but they’re husband and wife! What she feels, he feels. So they’re infertile together. Not just her. I was so angry for him. During the two years that me and my husband couldn’t conceive, he was my rock. We shared the experience together, and leaned on each other when we needed it. I know that not every relationship is the same, so I need to take it with a grain of salt and appreciate it for what the author was trying to accomplish. But I couldn’t help but be annoyed with Quinn.
There was some redemption though. Towards the end we see Quinn deal with her infertility and with the problems in their marriage. This is what made all of my issues with Quinn worth it. When she finally starts to realize what she’s doing, and finally starts to fight for the things she DOES have in her life instead of focusing on all the things she DOESN’T have, she becomes close to the person she was in the beginning. So being able to see her redeeming qualities, and her growth as a person, made it just a little easier to deal with. But parts of it were too little too late, and I struggled to give this book a higher rating for that reason.
Until next time, happy reading